


But it was alright

by Crazyitachi_Shaka (Saawek)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, CoG didn't happen, Leta lives you fucking bastards, Multi, Newt has PTSD, No Leta bashing, Overprotective Theseus Scamander, Theseus has PTSD, abusive parenting mentioned (not the Scamander), alternate universe : canon divergence, and Credence is not alone, brother centric, seriously we don't see anyone except them, the focus is essentially on the brothers and their hugs, there are not many creatures and i apologise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17533007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saawek/pseuds/Crazyitachi_Shaka
Summary: 5 Times Theseus hugged Newt and 1 time Newt hugged him firstTheseus remembered that when he was a child, Mother was often concerned about Newt. At the time he didn't really understood the exact whys but he was smart enough to see that his brother was very quiet and shy, and overall way kinder than anyone he had ever met. So from what he knew of the world at this time, he decided he would always be there to watch over Newt.





	But it was alright

**Author's Note:**

> heeey!  
> it's the first fic I write for the fandom, hope you'll like it !  
> Saawek

1- In which older brothers make promises

  


  


Theseus remembered that when he was a child, Mother was often concerned about Newt. At the time he didn't really understood the exact whys but he was smart enough to see that his brother was very quiet and shy, and overall waaaaay kinder than anyone he had ever met. So from what he knew of the world from his cynical 13 years, he thought that people would be mean to his little brother. 

The other thing always worrying Mother was that Newt always seemed to forget things, including how to go back to the house when he wandered too far in the property’s gardens. And for a 5 years old, it was indeed a smidge frightening to imagine him on his own outside.  
So, to keep Mother from stressing out, and because Newt was so small and defenseless, Theseus would always be very careful to keep an eye on his little brother.

That's why that day he knew something wasn't right. Newt would always go around in the gardens to discover new things, spending hours there and would have to be brought back. But it was the end of the afternoon, the sun was slowly setting, and still no signs of the child anywhere from anyone.

Worried but determined, he took a small bag with some water, some snacks and a coat, and left to check on his little brother. After some time -the property was huge- he heard sobbings and knew immediately that Newt had gotten lost again and was afraid of being scolded by Mother, again. So Theseus put on his warmest face and went towards the noise.

He was surprised to see the child surrounded by all sorts of small creatures he never had heard of. There was even a fairy perched on Newt's shoulder!

"Hey, little one, you taking a break?"

Newt only sobbed harder, trying to say things that Theseus only half got, that he was sorry he got lost again and please don't tell Mom.

Newt was not a very talkative child and he was often more comfortable with body language. So Theseus approached him calmly and went to hug him with a bright smile.

You seem to have had a fun afternoon!" he got the coat from his bag and put it on Newt's shoulder. "Will you introduce me to your new friends ?"

The child's face brightened up, tears and sorrows forgotten.

"Sure, 'Seus ! Here it's Archie, he’s a Knarl. And there it's Liz, she is a Fairy..."

Theseus was not really listening after a time but he smiled nonetheless and answered at all the right moments, keeping an arm around his brother.

It was starting to get dark when they left hands in hands, and Newt was still babbling happily about coming back tomorrow so Theseus could meet the others.

  


2- The Sorting Ceremony and afterwards

  


To say Newt was nervous would be an understatement. At 11 years old he was overexcited at the idea of going to Hogwarts. Theseus had already left the school but he had told all the stories of the castle during his 7 years and his little brother was looking forward to it.  
He was a bit too shy, he was aware, but he had hopes Hogwarts would be a new opportunity.

As the school year unfolded, Newt was starting to think that maybe the problem came from him. He would prefer to go near the forbidden forest, or hide for hours with the houses elves in the kitchens, instead of having secret parties in the dormitories. Leta would tell him it was alright : she didn't like people either. He wouldn't say that it wasn't because he didn't like people, he just didn't get them.

The good thing though was that he had been sorted into Hufflepuff like Theseus. And of course his brother had sent him a letter of congratulations when he heard of the news, but seeing him again was completely different !

Back at the Scamander household, the first person he saw was Theseus running towards him with open arms.

"Another Hufflepuff !! I am so proud of you, little one !"

And Newt forgot all that was not going well. Who cared about anything when your brother, so much older, so tall and so smart told you he was proud ?

3- Junior Song

  


  
Newt grew up a lot around 15 years old. He didn’t feel in tune with his body anymore and was even less in tune with his environment. Everyone seemed to hate him ; he honestly couldn’t take social cues and more often than not, he needed people to be mean to him to realise he was not welcomed. He was aware now that he would probably never be able to fit in. He was too weird, too gangly, not beautiful enough, too shy or too quiet. But the creatures he loved so much didn’t seem to care about his flaws so it was alright by him.

Even as he sat in Professor Dippet’s office, his Headhouse and Professor Dumbledore standing gravely in the background, he was trying to tell himself that it was normal for him. He was just a nobody after all, no talent and probably too weird to hope for a future as a magizoologist. He just hoped that, at least, his worthlessness wouldn’t stain Theseus’ impeccable record.

He remained quiet every time they asked if he was lying. And they were asking a lot of questions, very loudly. His head was starting to ring and he felt like everything was way too loud. He scrunched up his eyes, hoping the light would stop hurting too. He heard the parents from the injured students say he was crazy, and he really couldn’t blame them. In all the noise, he vaguely registered Dumbledore’s voice before he took him outside while his parents were trying to convince the Director not to break his wand.

Outside Dumbledore was thankfully quiet and didn’t try to touch him. It would have been too much right now. He just waited for Newt to calm down and when he deemed the teenager able to understand what was said, he simply told him he would do everything so he could continue learning because he was a very good student.

Newt was not so sure, especially when they told him he was to be expelled.

The trip back home was tense. Newt didn’t know what would happen to him. His parents were telling him he shouldn’t have lied, that he was destroying his future and his dreams, and it only convinced him that he was the utter failure of the family.

The dinner was even more awkward without Theseus to diffuse the silence. When the parents tried once again to reason with him, he ran away to his room.

Theseus came back from the Ministry late that day. He didn’t tell the parents why, but he was trying to gain some favour here and there so his brother could be homeschooled. He just hoped Newt was not already sleeping. But given the stress he must have been under, it was unlikely.

He went upstairs to find the teenager curled up under the covers in his bed, the Niffler he rescued years ago curiously calm and cuddly in his arms.

“Hey, little one”, Theseus put a hand on Newt’s shoulder, his voice soft and reassuring.

Newt curled up on himself a bit more and Theseus saw his whole body was shaking.

“I am not mad, Newt. I am not disappointed. I am rather proud, you know.”

At this the teenager got up slowly and eyed his brother suspiciously.

“You lied to protect her, right ? Because her father will beat her if her reputation stains his. ”

Theseus smiled sadly while watching his brother look away.

“That’s why I am proud. You have sacrificed something today to protect her, to do what’s right. And you have no idea where it will take you; if it was a reckless choice or not. It was brave and incredibly kind.”

Newt couldn’t contain the sudden sob and broke down completely, unable to hold the tears anymore. Theseus leaned closer to his little brother and embraced him tenderly.

“It’s alright, little one, we will find a solution together. I will help you all the way so you can still have your dream.”

Between the shaking and the cries he understood a broken thank you and he tightened his grip.

He knew from the very beginning that Newt was too kind, that people would take advantage or that he'd be reckless in his altruism. But it was alright because he would be there always to protect him so his brother wouldn't have to change.

  


4- We are the Hollow Men, we are the Stuffed Men

  


  
They didn’t remember much of the end of the War. Just some fragments here and there, a trip in a truck, an apparition zone, going back to England. Theseus only remembered that he couldn’t let go of his little brother. He remembered his warmth against him. Alive. His mind would shout, ecstatic and crazy. ALIVE ! They were alive indeed ! 

A laugh escaped him and Newt eyed him confused.

“‘Seus ?…”  
“We are alive !! Newt, God, oh God, we are alive !”

And Newt chuckled, head down but clearly amused.

“Indeed we are.”

And Theseus suddenly thought of all the others who were not. He felt his eyes watering. Newt seemed to understand and didn’t add anything else. He just let his brother hug him even tighter and cried with him.

“Why are we alive, little one? Tell me…”  
“I don’t know, ‘Seus. I… I… have no idea…”

Some days later Theseus was summoned by the Ministry to receive some fancy medals as a War Hero. He couldn’t say a thing ; they thought he was just very relieved and too overwhelmed by happiness. He understood right this instant that he couldn’t let them see the truth. The truth that being labeled a War Hero made him feel even more hollow.

When he finally could go back home, he ignored his proud parents, ignored the staff. He threw the medal somewhere and went straight to hug Newt. Newt who had suffered too during the war. His little brother who was so kind and so shy and so quiet, way kinder than him. Not the glorified murderer. 

“‘Seus ?”

Theseus only tightened his hold, keeping his little brother against him as if he wasn’t cradling a young man like the most precious thing in the world.

“They thanked me…” he finally choked. Newt’s eyes widened in understanding.  
“I am… I am so sorry, ‘Seus.”  
“They thanked me… Oh God…. They thanked me… ”

Theseus sobbed uncontrollably, only anchored by his tight embrace on his brother. He should have enjoyed this hug, even if he was dying inside. He should have enjoyed it because it was the last one Newt returned before a very long time.

  


5- Tomorrow, at dawn, in the hour when the countryside becomes white, I will leave.

  


  
“I am leaving for my book.” 

They said the War was over, Theseus didn’t think so. He still had nightmares and would still jump when hearing loud and sudden noises. But for Newt, it was worse. His little brother was naturally shy and introverted but it seemed that now… he couldn’t even interact with people anymore. Or he didn’t want to.

He’d spend his days outside in the gardens, sometimes the nights too. He was so very quiet that Theseus sometimes didn’t realise his brother was next to him. He couldn’t look at people in the eyes. Even him, his sibling. It was breaking Theseus’ heart that the one he had wanted to protect against the brutality of the world had been traumatised in such a way..

But at least, Newt was still his compassionate and kind self… he just showed it only to animals.

Their parents tried to wake Newt up, to shake him out of this weird stupor and hollowness. Theseus forbade them. The healers were calling it shell shock. And everyone reacted differently.

Newt had shied away from the outside into himself and would open up only for his creatures… Theseus had become a professional faker at happiness. He supposed that if he faked hard enough, he’d be able not to dwell too long on the nights where he cried himself to sleep.

“I am leaving for my book.”

It was only two months after being back that Newt came to him saying this. Theseus wondered if he had done something wrong for his brother to run to the other side of the world away from him. Then he realised Newt was probably trying to run away from the ghosts of the war, he just happened to be one of them.

“I am leaving in 3 days. Please, don’t stop me.”

Theseus only smiled, a sad little smile.  
“No Newt, I am happy you will finally become the most famous magizoologist in the world. It’s your dream. I am proud of you.”

Three days later, the morning before leaving, Theseus came to Newt’s room with an old looking suitcase. Newt was intrigued but Theseus showed him quickly it had a undetectable extension charm. It was small for now but Newt was skilled enough in charms to make it as big as he needed. It was something he had confiscated and brought back from his auror job.

His little brother was touched and thanked him. Theseus would have preferred if Newt had looked at him while saying it, but it was alright.

“Can I get one last hug before you leave?”

Newt didn’t really say yes, but he didn’t say no either. So Theseus approached him and tried to convey in this hug what he couldn’t express anymore. (The war had stolen many things, sometimes he thought his voice too.)

“‘Seus, let me go…”  
“Yes, yes, of course, sorry, little one.”

Newt didn’t look at him, though he had the hint of a shy smile. It reassured Theseus a bit. He then took him to the harbor. On his way back he tried not to think too much about the fact that Newt hadn’t hug him back at all.  


  


+1 Something old, something new

  


Newt was perfectly aware of the distance he had put between himself and the world around him, more particularly with his brother. He didn’t really want it but at the time, after all the failures, after the War, he had been powerless in fighting it. 

Almost 10 years later though, mainly with the help of his newfounds American friends, he was starting to get more confident in his human skills. Jacob was his first male friend and they shared a special bond that Newt would forever cherish. There was also Percival Graves who turned out to be a very kind man, understanding of his boundaries and personal challenges. After his abduction by Grindelwald he had spent a long time in recovery and had discovered Newt’s menagerie with wonder and worry about the permits needed for this. He had even taken Credence as his ward, warming Newt’s heart for the bright future the young man could have now. And of course the Goldsteins sisters. Queenie was still making him a bit nervous sometimes, but she had such a kind heart, and Tina. He couldn’t say how important she was to him. His best friend, able to understand him without judgment, and also the only one he trusted with his not so unrequited crush on her very elegant boss.

Thanks to all of these people he had started to think that maybe he didn’t have to change to be happy, and that maybe it was time to go back home for a bit. See how his brother was doing and also being his witness at his wedding.

Theseus was still the same but he had a strain on his shoulders. The War wasn’t finished yet for him, Newt had thought. 

“Newt Newt I can’t do this !! I am too nervous, i’m gonna do something stupid and…”

The younger one chuckled at his brother’s nervousness. They were together in a small antichamber in the church, everyone was preparing the ceremony and Theseus would soon have to go wait for the bride, for Leta.

“No I’m not kidding, she’s gonna realise I am… that I am…”

Newt saw immediately where his brother’s thoughts were going. He still had many difficulties accepting that War Hero was not a synonym of "fancy murderer" and he’d sometimes have intense fits of self-hatred.

“She is gonna realise that you are completely smitten with her, handsome and, according to the others, funny.” Newt said with a quiet but amused voice.

It seemed to stop Theseus in his negative whirlwind.

“According to others ?” he squeezed his eyes suspiciously.  
“Well, I guess people are weird.” Newt shrugged making Theseus laugh.

Newt smiled, more brightly, and he even caught his brother’s gaze.

“You are a fine man, ‘Seus. You deserve her and, and she deserves you. Together you will be happy and… and you will be able to heal. Both of you.”

Theseus started to cry and Newt was afraid for a moment he had said something wrong but his brother laughed.

“You are… you are the kindest person I have ever met, little one… I don’t know what to tell you…”  
“Thank you is enough”, Newt smiled amused.

Theseus attempted a movement to get his brother in a headlock but restrained himself at the last minute. Newt sighed, aware his own behavior had set these awkward boundaries. Still smiling warmly, he opened his arms.

“And if this time I was the one giving the hug, ‘Seus ?”

He didn’t need to repeat himself, Theseus had crashed into his brother, almost making him stumble backwards. He was laughing and crying and the joy started to get to Newt who laughed too.

After a moment they got progressively calmer and Theseus finally raised his head toward Newt.

“Is it the last one before years ?”  
“No, not this time.”  
Theseus humphed, clearly not convinced.  
“I can’t risk it.”  
And he went right back into being hugged by his little brother.

To this day, Newt would remember Theseus and Leta’s wedding as the day where he almost stole the spotlight of the evening, being hugged all the time by a touch-starved overprotective overbearing mother-hen of a brother.

But it made all of them happy so it was alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think but no pressure !  
> I didn't have any beta and english is not my first language so I hope it was not too full of mistakes :)
> 
> Come find on tumblr at Saawek for fanart [here](http://saawek.tumblr.com/)


End file.
